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November, 2017
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Thanksgiving Shape
A corset (Source: ArtsyBee via Pixabay)
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has been my least favorite holiday for a good long while. There are a variety of reasons for that, and you don’t care about 90% of them. One of the biggest reasons I dislike Thanksgiving, though, is the scrutiny that I come under from “helpful” family members.
I know I’m not alone in this. I know this because I’ve read more than a few articles from other larger women out there. Trust me, the “helpful” suggestion that we eat sweet potatoes to curb the sweet craving that we must all have doesn’t help anyone but you, when you want to feel superior.
And yes, I get that a lot. I don’t have sugar cravings. And sweet potatoes taste like sick. But obviously someone else knows my body better than I do, right?
Anyway. Because putting myself out there in the company of people who want to tear me down in the name of “helping” is stressful, there’s a certain amount of pressure to try to minimize how I look. A lot of that pressure is self-induced, but that doesn’t change the fact that the pressure exists.
I don’t own a single pair of nylons that aren’t “control top.” It’s hard to breathe in those things. I own waist cinchers. I have “shapewear.” Yesterday, as I considered what to wear for this annual ordeal, I pulled all of these things and more out of my bureau and considered them.
And then I put them back. I was going to spend roughly eight hours in a car. I was going to sit in uncomfortable chairs, argue with relatives (or try very hard not to.) I was going to chase children around.
Did I really want to do any of that with my ability to breathe, or move, restricted?
I wore a dress, but I didn’t try to minimize anything. I am who I am. Nothing’s changed it so far, but getting worked up about it has definitely made things worse. If they have a problem with my size, they will continue to be the ones with the problem.
I felt perfectly comfortable in soft, cool, breathable underwear that let me move and breathe. I was more confident when I was able to be myself than I would have been if I’d tried to squeeze myself into a mold that didn’t fit.
If your shapewear helps you to feel more comfortable in your clothes, or in your skin, then by all means wear it. If you just aren’t feeling it, leave it at home. It’s your body. Wear it the way you see fit. You aren’t answerable to anyone else.
Nothing Ventured, Nothing GAINED
Staring at this will be helpful. Really.
I haven’t posted in a little while, and there are a couple of reasons for that. One is that I’ve been running myself absolutely ragged lately with my regular job. My deadlines caught up with me in the worst way, I had no childcare, and I had no time for anything. As a result, I gained weight.
This isn’t supposed to be a “weight loss” blog. I’m supposed to be on here talking about getting back to “healthy,” whatever that means for me now. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to be svelte, and I have to accept that.
I can tell myself all of those things, but nothing quite drives away that shame when I see the numbers inching up on the scale.
I know what happened. It’s not hard to figure out. I sacrificed sleep to meet my deadlines. I spent a whole week going to bed at 4:30 in the morning, and getting up at 7:30. I know my body. I know my history. Every time I’ve gained weight, it’s been when my sleep has been disrupted.
And it’s very easy for me to sit here and say, “Okay, well, I’ll just make sure my sleep doesn’t get disrupted then.” Some things are under my control. Sometimes we have to make choices in life. When it comes down to losing our job or losing some sleep, we tend to choose to put sleep off. We can always make that up later, right?
Being so busy also had an effect on my diet. That didn’t have as much of an effect as you might think, but it certainly didn’t help. What dining out, and choosing faster and more convenient options, did do was make me feel awful the whole time.
For those of you who were curious about that aloe water remedy, I lost track and forgot to make the stuff while I was on my sleep-deprived bender. I’ll get back on track this week. I’m sure you’re all shocked that it hasn’t helped so far, though!
So. What can I do to try to make sure that doesn’t happen in the future? (I’m not here just to bewail my ever-expanding waistline. I do have an action plan, believe it or not.)
- Set better boundaries for work and home life, so I can avoid sleep deprivation for the next book and the next deadline.
- Use better discipline so that I don’t have to scramble at the last minute to meet my deadlines.
- Prepare dishes ahead of time so that healthier foods are equally as convenient as trashy foods.
- Make more time for rest. This seems counterintuitive, but I get more work done more efficiently when I’m better rested.
- Get better hydrated.
- Find more time to exercise. I focus better when I’ve moved my body.
Aloe Water Remedy
Aloe plant
I’m back from my convention, and I’m all settled in. I’ve had a chance to weigh in, and I’ve gained four pounds. It’s concerning, but not entirely unexpected. I know what steps I need to take. I’ll outline them below, but I also want to talk about something else I’m trying: the aloe water remedy.
What is the Aloe Water Remedy?
The Aloe Water Remedy is something I found in the great black hole that is Pinterest. You can find the original video here.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Jaye – aren’t you trying to get to a healthy point ‘for you’? I’m ninety percent sure trying random potions concocted from Internet videos isn’t exactly helping you get there.”
Ah. Yes. About that. I never promised you I’d be rational.
But look. I’m trying this so you don’t have to. At least you can see how I’m handling the remedy before you try it, right?
So the article describes this as containing ingredients you “probably have already.” The voice in the video has an Indian accent, and maybe most Indian homes have pure aloe juice on hand. I live in Boston. I don’t have aloe juice on hand.
You want to know who has aloe juice on hand? Amazon. They’re a monopoly, but they’ve got what you need.
The other ingredients were easy to come by. Okay, I’ve run out of honey due to poor planning and poor inventory control on my part. But I’ll be fixing that on Friday.
Basically, you mix the drink. You drink the drink. You go about your day.
I’ve been doing this for four days now. I know that aloe is supposed to have diuretic qualities. I couldn’t say if it’s having much of an effect. It’s supposed to “aid digestion,” which is usually a euphemism. So far it’s had an opposite effect on me, but we’ll see how things shake out over the next month. I’ll definitely keep you posted. I can tell you the taste is fine.
Other Issues Surrounding Gain
I haven’t been able to move around as much as I’d like. I’m dreadfully behind on work, which means my butt’s been in a chair instead of on the bike. I did get my 10,000 steps in on Halloween night, which left me unable to move or work. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.
Sleep also hasn’t been coming to visit as easily. A lot of that is the result of stress. Again, I’m dreadfully behind. My child care has skipped town, so that’s been an issue. The end result is I’m staying up later to do work, which means I’m getting 4 – 5 hours of sleep instead of 7 – 9.
And we’ve already talked about how sleep affects me.
So I’m concerned, and I’m making more of an effort to get to bed. I’m working hard to stay asleep too, which is a huge issue.
So I’m working to correct my course. And I’m trying something new, just to see if it works. I’m not putting all of my hopes on it, but I don’t lose much by trying it. Hopefully I’ll be able to carve out some time for the exercise bike next week.